The comparison trap!

It comes quietly without warning
Subtle voice, a tune like that of the piped piper; pulling like a magnet, making you uneasy as it relentlessly tries to get you to take just one look at what someone else has.
It’s the comparison trap, tugging you towards an empty dissatisfaction.

Lately I have felt God shine His light more closely into the corners of my heart. His desire is simple! It is to wrench me free from comparing myself to anyone, and to close my eyes and ears from the lies and whispers that render me feeling not good enough.

There is always plenty opportunity to compare yourself to others nowadays isn’t there? What you have, what you do, where you come from, the colour of your skin, everything  can so easily be measured, graded.  Worth and value so easily ascribed based on all the externals and nothing of eternal value really. From how quickly kids crawl, how slim clothes fall on your body, how tidy your house is, how romantic your husband is, gifts and talents, the list is endless.

For me though the comparison temptation has come in areas that I have been believing and trusting God for. Isn’t it funny for example that when you are single and believing for that husband, all you see are couples everywhere and you wonder why the long wait?  Or when you are trusting for that baby, all you see are mothers with babies everywhere. These corners of our hearts where much prayer, tears and hope has been tenderly nursed can so quickly be corrupted when we fail to “guard our hearts with all diligence” and succumb to comparing ourselves to others.

God desires me for Himself. To be completely satisfied with Him no matter what my desires are and what the external pressures of life are. When I compare myself, my life to another, it says that I do not believe that God loves me enough nor does he have His hand poised to bless me and care for all my needs. When I compare, I cultivate an unbelieving and thankless heart. When I compare, I lose sight of what God is doing in my life and I disregard His goodness and His timing in my life.

For each person the root of this “comparison madness” could be different. But for me God shines His light into the corners of my heart once again and He says to me “My beloved daughter, I love you. I don’t love others more than you. My love for you is without condition. You can Trust me with the desires of your heart.”

So the next time the comparison temptation comes along, guess what? It will be another great opportunity to celebrate what God is doing in the lives of others. To cheer them on, knowing that my Daddy loves me too. And He truly is more than enough.

I am a Dreamer

Its hard to be a dreamer at times. Its hard to wait. And its hard to let go of some dreams. Its hard to keep some dreams alive.

The beautiful pictures in my mind and in my heart would be so amazing in the world of reality. Yes, of course that’s what i think. My heart often dreams with abandon  crafting, desperately wanting to put things together. Fix the broken, rescue the lost, heal the past….delight in the future. cherish the now.

But growing up sometimes means learning to let go of this “perfect world”. I know its only “perfect” and just right because I have taken the time to create it and nurse it in the hidden corners of my heart. The corner whose door is carefully marked by the words ” the way things should be”. Its a a very special place, with rich tones, peaceful hues and sparkling promise. A place where much hope still lies. A place filled with the faces of people i know, near and far, living out their dreams.

I have a dream that i have to let go of..i have a dream that is not mine to keep. I have a dream that i have dreamed for one so precious, but its a dream she has to carry in her own heart. From the hidden corners of my heart, i will utter my prayers for this precious one, and trust that the One who hears, is the one who makes dreams come true. And i will never be disapointed because He has bigger dreams that i have not seen, heard or can imagine.

(Something I wrote a long while ago but still real today)