Let me tell you the truth about my life. Let’s just set the record straight! There is not an inch of my life that is held together by the strength of my hands or the brilliance of my own genius. Seriously. You will find amazingly capable , smart and “got-my-act-together” kind if people. This girl right here, is not one of those people. The truth is, every morning when I wake up, I find to my utter shock and surprise, that this person who calls Himself the Way, the Truth and Life, is right there, already waiting for my eyes open. He pulls me out of slumber into the unmistakeable light of His presence. I know. It boggles my mind all the time too.
I am a regular girl just like you. I have dreams bigger than my shoes. I love my home. But I hate dishes and ironing. I love pretty earrings and I smile when my daughter picks out nail polish colors for me. I am nowhere near perfect and now that I have hit my forties, that’s actually becoming Ok with me. I don’t come from a wealthy home, and for a very long time , I believed that I never got the stuff that successful- life-making is made of.
High school was the turning point for me…I remember clearly sitting under a tree at a christian camp, clarity filling my heart, and responding to the tiny light of faith to follow Jesus. But for a longtime, I felt like I was doing all the chasing. I was always so afraid. I believed with all my heart that Jesus was the missing link that I had always searched and longed for, but I was not always convinced that He liked me enough to stay. To stay and be close in that “I-think-the-world-of-you” kind of way. I thought that maybe one day He would also . . . LEAVE?
Aah…. BUT this morning, as I scan the entire span of my life, howbeit a bit fuzzy here and there, I can see so clearly how Jesus, has moved from the curious hero of my bible stories to my best and closest friend. He really meant it when He said He will never leave us, or forget or forsake us. I know there have been times in my life when this simple truth has been quite murky, but He has really taken the time to remove all the lies and fill all those empty dying spaces. I am utterly amazed that He is still here! That I belong to him! And that an ordinary girl like me, has kick-ass wings to fly!
I am a girl held together by so much life and grace and beauty and none of it is held together by me. I can close my eyes in the midst of the challenging and passing seasons; the mundane and the awe- inspiring; the hopes and dreams awaiting; and all the unknowns spaces in-between.
I can B R E A T H E……in that real deep kind of way. I am grateful. I am blessed. Jesus is my life and I have found my place in Him. This is the truth about me!